Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Journal #4 Eng 240


In this journal I will be reviewing three cover letters that are written to a specific ad, a generic letter, and a referral. 

1. The Audience of this cover letter is the principal of the school that is offering the position. The principal manages the school and hires new teachers when there is openings. 
2. The first paragraph states how this candidate found out about the position and what is enclosed. The second paragraph states his qualifications and experience with teaching. The third paragraph he says what he will do if he gets hired at this school. The last paragraph is asking for a reply in response to the job and his resume. 
3. He highlights the fact that he can adapt to different situations with ease and that he has gotten positive reviews from superiors and parents. 
4. The writer makes their main appeal with credibility by saying “I have had the opportunity to function in a variety of educational settings making it easy to adapt to new situations and faculty concepts. This is showing that he does have a sense of adaptability within a school. He also says, “with over 10 years of experience in teaching various subjects,” shows that he is very marketable and can do almost any teaching job that may be required. 
5. The writer addresses the audience a few times throughout the cover letter in the first and last paragraphs. He also steers how he can contribute to the school throughout the middle paragraphs. I do not think this candidate personally knows the employer but he has done his research on what the school is expecting from their teachers. 
6. I would improve this cover letter by making the last two paragraphs into one and removing the line that says, “ I look forward to a favorable reply. He should also reread his cover letter since there is a spelling error in the last sentence.



1. The audience of this letter is Jolyn McKensie, the principal of Education Learning Academy. From this letter I would assume that the principal is in control of hiring candidates. 
2. The first paragraph states what job the candidate is interested in and the experience that she has. The second paragraph is her first classroom teaching experience and volunteer work. The third paragraph is her student teaching experience and what she has done. The last paragraph she is asking for the job by saying she will contact them next week. 
3. The accomplishment that she demonstrates is her experiences working with students. 
4. She makes her appeal with both credibility and emotion. She uses credibility by saying, “ I have student teaching experience on the first and third grade level.” She uses emotion by saying how she likes working with “at-risk” student’s and why. 
5. This writer does not address the audience at all. This shows that this is a generic cover letter that was most likely sent to more than one employer. How often does the writer address their audience? How well do you think they know this potential employer? 
6. I would improve this cover letter by making it more personable and addressing the audience more. 


1. The audience for this cover letter is Matthew Broderick and he is the hiring partner for the Law offices of Ferris and Bueller. This cover letter just states that he is the hiring partner and that this candidate was referred by Carrie Bradshaw.  
2. The first paragraph is the referral from someone who is known to the hiring partner. The second paragraph shows the credibility of this candidate and some of the accomplishments that she has had. The third and last paragraph is asking for the interview at this company and thanking the audience for reading the cover letter.
3. This candidate has chosen to highlight the fact that she is having a piece published in the Florida State University Law review. 
4. This writer makes their appeal by using credibility. She uses credibility by saying she had the “opportunity to clerk with Smith and Catalano, an Orlando firm specializing in tax law.” She also says how she is a “third-year law student at the Florida State University College of Law.” 
5. The writer addresses the audience by stating that she was told to contact this specific person because she would be a good candidate for the job. I think they know this employer fairly well since they were recommended for this job and they have background in working with law. 
6. I would improve this letter by explaining the credentials and experience that she has since it is very brief. 

5 comments:

  1. I really like that in your first one he highlighted his positive reviews that he got. Positive reviews for valid sources are a great thing to have that would set someone apart from the competition. I also think it is great, well not for him, but that you picked out a spelling error. Those little mistakes could be the reason for not getting the job. Spelling mistakes like that will make it seem like you did not put enough time into your cover letter. I agree with you that you need to make your letter as personable as you can without it being too much, and that they needed to address their audience more. These are all great observations!

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  2. I like that your journal entry includes quotes. This is super helpful when trying to get an understanding of what the cover letter was saying without going to it. It seems like you had a really good understanding of the letters you were evaluating. I really like your third example, I thought the names on it were very clever. It made the cover letter more interesting to read. I would love to have a reference from Carrie Bradshaw.

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  3. The cover letters you chose are all really good. For what ever reason I was not able to read the referral one. I could not download it. However the unsolicited one and the responding to ad one were very well constructed. To be completely honest I think I would be hard pressed to find anything I would want to change on either of those cover letters. In the unsolicited cover letter she talks about wanting to work with at risk children. I think that is a really good thing to put down as a teacher. We need more teachers like that in this world.

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  4. The cover letters what you summarized very well. You identified and said a lot about almost very subject that was need to be looked over. On some of the interments you said needed to be addresses i agree with you. Its important on cover letters to not be too too formal.

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  5. I like the first cover letter because it wasn't to long and it made me want to see what his resume looks like. The spelling letter might make me reconsider but he's applying for physical education teacher so I guess he would be okay. I wouldn't take out the favorable reply out because it shows that he is a risk taker but also upbeat and optimistic. If I was a princple I would be looking for in a gym teacher.

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